Blondes...........

K88MUD · Joined: 20 Sep 2008 Posts: 777 Location: New Marske

> > A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out.
> >
> >
> > Her boss asked sympathetically, 'What's the matter?'
> >
> > The blonde replies, 'Early this morning I got a phone call saying that
>
> > my mother had passed away.'
> >
> > The boss, feeling sorry for her, says, 'Why don't you go home for the
> > day? Take the day off to relax and rest.'
> >
> > 'Thanks, but I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and
>
> > I have the best chance of doing that here.'
> >
> > The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual.
> >
> >
> > A couple of hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde.
> >
> >
> > He looks out from his office and sees the blonde crying hysterically.
> >
> > 'What's so bad now? Are you gonna be okay?' he asks.
> >
> > 'No!' exclaims the blonde. 'I just received a horrible call from my
> > sister.

Her mother died, too!'

Laughing

K88MUD · Joined: 20 Sep 2008 Posts: 777 Location: New Marske

> > A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught in a really bad
> > hailstorm.
> >
> >
> > Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a
> > repair shop.
> >
> > The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some
> > fun.
> >
> >
> > He told her to go home and blow into the tail pipe really hard, and
> > all the dents would pop out.
> >
> > So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started
> > blowing in to her tailpipe.
> >
> >
> > Nothing happened.
> >
> >
> > So she blew a little harder, and still nothing happened.
> >
> > Her blonde roommate saw her and asked, 'What are you doing?'
> >
> > The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow
>
> > into the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out.
> >
> > The roommate rolled her eyes and said, 'Uh, like hello! You need to
> > roll up the windows first.'

K88MUD · Joined: 20 Sep 2008 Posts: 777 Location: New Marske

A blonde hurried into the emergency room late one night with the tip
> > of her index finger shot off.
> >
> >
> > 'How did this happen?' the emergency room doctor asked her.
> >
> > 'Well, I was trying to commit suicide,' the blonde replied.
> >
> > 'What?' sputtered the doctor. 'You tried to commit suicide by shooting
>
> > off your finger?'
> >
> > 'No, Silly' the blonde said. 'First I put the gun to my chest, and
> > then I thought, 'I just paid $6,000.00 for these implants. I'm not
> > shooting myself in the chest.'
> >
> > 'So then?' asked the doctor.
> >
> > 'Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought, 'I just paid $3,000.00
>
> > to get my teeth straightened. I'm not shooting myself in the mouth.'
> >
> > 'So then?'
> >
> > 'Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: 'This is going to make a
>
> > loud noise. So I put my finger in my other ear before I pulled the
> > trigger

K88MUD · Joined: 20 Sep 2008 Posts: 777 Location: New Marske

Two Blondes With Hammers...
> >
> > Carol and Donna, were doing some carpenter work on a Habitat for
> > Humanity house.
> >
> > Carol, who was nailing down house siding, would reach into her nail
> > pouch, pull out a nail and either toss it over her shoulder or nail it
>
> > in.
> >
> > Donna, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, 'Why are you
> > throwing those nails away?'
> >
> > Carol explained, 'When I pull a nail out of my pouch, about half of
> > them have the head on the wrong end and I throw them away.'
> >
> > Donna got completely upset and yelled, 'You moron! Those nails aren't
> > defective! They're for the other side of the house!
> >

K88MUD · Joined: 20 Sep 2008 Posts: 777 Location: New Marske

Apologies to any blondes reading these............but they are funny.

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